So, I really do want this to be a blog and not a diary, but I’m going to post this anyway.
Every once in a while, I journal my prayers. They are personal and intimate: perfect for the world wide web. Most of the people closest to me tell me that I don’t share my feelings often enough. In reality, I just don’t have a lot of feelings, so I figured when I DO have feelings, I’ll post them here. Then when my friends and family complain about my cold, calculated, emotionless nature, I can just say, “go read my blog.”
Ps 25.7 Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth. Remember me in the light of your unfailing love, for you are merciful, O Lord.
When you created the world, you said that it was good. Then we ruined it. This world, and the humans who inhabit it, are corrupted; distorted. “Good” can no longer be the primary descriptor of your creation.
I am no exception. You created me as a beautiful reflection of you, with great potential, and talents, and passions. And I have messed it all up. I have ruined it. I am corrupted; distorted. I am not good. And yet here I am, with a wife, and a ministry, and a future. You have not taken these things from me, even though I have not lived up to the responsibility of caring for them. You have chosen to remember me in the light of your unfailing love, for you are merciful, O Lord.
God, I pray that I would live in that reality. I pray that I would rise to the occasion. Every moment that goes by where you do not take my wife, my ministry and my future from me is a moment undeserved; a moment of mercy. They keep coming. Thank you. I pray that I would live with an attitude of humility, and of gratefulness, and of joy at a life that is more than I have earned.